The Mask That Saves.

Sitting in your class after a week long exams, thinking how difficult it was. Not the questions but the new setting of giving on campus exams after more than half a year of online classes. Its been just over a month getting out of your home town for the first time in your entire life to achieve your dreams, your goals, to make the best of all the investments your parents has made. The teacher is teaching, talking about how to asses the performance of employees with her mask on. You look around and see the students wearing mask, listening to her, being attentive but your mind keeps going back to all your efforts which didnt bring any returns. The situations when you gave your best, and still it wasnt up to the mark. That time when you saw other people living your dream, doing things you have always wanted to do. The toxicity that you have created for yourself, the self condemnation and how its eating you from inside, how you couldnt study for your exams well, your venomous habit of thinking you’re not enough, and the list of goals you are not able to achieve because of this horrible trait of yours.
And suddenly, in the class with people around you, the tears start flowing. Uncontrollable, suffocating tears. And you cannot help but be greatful for your mask, because it covering your pathetic tears. And your hair is hiding your eyes. You don’t feel like stopping yourself from crying because it feels good, like an achievement that you are able to cry. The bell rings and you rush to the ladies room, lock yourself in the one of the stall and your legs give up.
You drop on the ground, sobbing away your broken heart. How you get out of that??? How do you getup?? But you find a way. You blow your nose, fix your hair, but no need to smile, because you have a mask that saves.