As the days progressed into the years, the flower forgot its fragrance. It started well though when it was just a bud, unfurling its soft petals which had diamonds like droplets early in the morning, reflecting its gorgeous pink in the sunlight. It was still covered in the cotton soft shield enjoying the oblivion of solidarity which soon shattered as its eyes looked beyond and saw other buds around it in the garden. They were pretty too, some even with vibrant colours it had ever seen and they were growing strong with every passing day. Whenever there was a light breeze, it could smell the sweet fragrance which was so delightful to breath in. And so it noticed that the other buds were different from what it was. There was more bounce in them or maybe shown brightly under the blue sky. Some had more petals in them, some had clearer reflection on their diamonds. Infact some grew in such a pretty bunch which made it strikingly appealing to the eyes that somehow caught more attention. It became obsessed with what it did not have and what it should have had that it forgot what it really had. Gradually this turned into excessive self-criticism because what it had, felt wrong.
This set in motion an attempt to become something that it thought the world wanted it to become. To be always perfect, not flawed, to take people’s breath away, just like how other buds were doing, mesmerizing people, if not by their beauty then by their fragrance. The only aim was to feel loved and accepted. And yes it did work hard, no doubt there was growth but it still looked outside at others, what they must be thinking of its petals. So it showed its best side or a side which couldn’t be judged. To put on the best front took its toll. It forgot who it was, what it was, whats its fragrance like, what it looks like. Some of its petals had withered, it was hearing but never listening. And as time advanced, it couldn’t even be itself because it did not know how to be. So it decided that things cannot go on this way any longer. It cannot stay cornered in fear of being judged and labelled as “not good enough”. So the flower decided, it is what it is.
It knew that it had to get above this fear of losing out in the world among other flowers, being compared and thought to be less than others or simply less. This can only begin by accepting that every single flower in the garden is beautiful and fact is that it is part of the garden too. It just have to explore its own beauty in an accepting way. This will take time because it will have to unlearn a galore of things it had learnt over the course of its life. It will have find itself, maybe in bits pieces, slowly gathering intel by diving deep and observing what makes it bloom, making that its focus. Some foundations have to be laid on the rocks and that is what the flower is going to do now because the marathon it has started on will take time. In some ways its good that it found a direction at this point of its life before it was too late to change anything at all. The only thing it is searching for is the freedom that lies at the end of this long tunnel. The journey is going to be lonely but it is what will make the difference.
Rea1405 